Momma No Longer Has Things Under Control

Winter 1991...I'm a new mom.  My baby has a high fever and has not slept in several nights.  My husband is a new doc doing his residency so he has not slept in several months!   The rest of my family is two hours away.

The baby finally goes down for a nap so, naturally, I decide to do some laundry.  The machines are on the second floor of the townhouse.  I start the washer,  sit down to rest up, when I hear loud banging and cracking sounds.  The washing machine is leaking down into the dining room--the ceiling is folding--there's a mess everywhere.

I grab the baby, his clothes, his meds, and camp out near the front door while I call plumbers.  Now remember, there is no internet or cell phone.  I have only been in this sublet for several months and am new to the area. I find a plumber, in the yellow pages, who hears the desperation in my voice and promises to head right over.

In the meantime, hubby calls to check on the baby.  When I tell him all is well, but the second floor laundry room is now on the first floor, in the dining room, he says he's coming right home, of course. I tell him not to worry, I had it under control.

Fast forward to present day, Fall 2017.  We are ending week one of Oral Immune Therapy (OIT) which is a desensitization for food allergies, (peanuts in this case), and thankfully, it has been an uneventful week!

However, at the start of the week, when it was time to mix a minuscule amount of peanut flour into a teaspoon of water, and then add some pudding, I was literally shaking.  Of course, the powder went flying on the first try, the pudding is the next to go on round two.  Round three my 14 year old son takes over and mixes his own dose.  Yup, I'm keeping a calm exterior all right.  Let's just say, intentionally giving my son the equivalent of poison to his system, and yup, I no longer have

it under control....

Momma's Having a Moment

Many years ago, (22 to be exact), I experienced one of those heart stopping, (in a bad way), moments. It was a bright and beautiful winter day, so I bundled up my little cherubs to go to the market.  I parked the car and started taking them out of their car seats, when I heard what I thought were gun shots. Petrified, I threw them back into the car and (dramatically) covered them with my body to protect them.  I am too embarrassed to tell you what the sounds actually were.  Thankfully, they were not gunshots.  

Fast forward 22 years and we are starting an equally terrifying journey called OIT with our teenaged son.  He has a life threatening food allergy and we have taken the plunge to "immunize" him from accidental exposure and fatal reactions.  I am staying positive and outwardly calm so that he does not feel any more anxiety then I'm sure he already does.  I did however, dream that I spilled the dose and shielded him with my body from all the peanut powder as it spread throughout the room.

It is truly a surreal experience feeding him something that we have strictly and vigorously avoided since his diagnosis, so my dream is justified....the gunshots however, may have been a figment of my very active imagination! To be fair, I did live in an apartment building filled with  FBI agents and their spouses when I was pregnant with my second son.  Their stories had me absolutely, over the top terrified of walking out the door with my toddler!!

Parenting truly runs the gamut from joyous to terrifying!
Good luck in your journey!

This is how my son "decorated" his box of doses.

Fit Fat

My workout is my Prozac.  If I don't workout, nobody wants to be around me.  This morning was a prime example of my pre-workout crazy.  I went down to our  basement gym ready to go, and there was an empty water bottle on a piece of equipment.  Okay, someone forgot to bring it upstairs.  No big deal, right?  Then I had to do a search for the remotes to watch Netflix while on the Treadclimber. Prior to this,  I replaced toilet paper, refilled water in the coffee pot and emptied the overflowing garbages and recycle bins.--let's not even discuss the dishes that were piled in the sink.  So, I instituted new rules. And by that, I mean I flew up the stairs and went on a rant about the new policies: remotes stay in the cabinet under the TV, garbage full--empty it, finish the tp--there is a role a foot away under the cabinet, and the dishwasher is a wonderful machine--use it!  

Simple courtesies are so helpful and become a big deal when only one or two of the six follow them. And, there is a way to peacefully discuss this with the offending parties, of course.  That is why I really need my workout before I have these conversations!

Yes, I live with five men and the four that were home were kinda' looking at me a bit dumbfounded. Bless his soul, Middle son, brave child, went down to the basement with me to workout and patiently went on to teach me how to do a new exercise.

Yes, thin, fat or somewhere in between, my workouts soothe me and clear my head.  It is my time and even when my sons were very young, they quickly learned that I needed that time to myself.  I didn't mind if they joined me and I was there if they needed me, but they respected my time.  This is a wonderful lesson for young people to learn.

The Big Box Bonanza

Who doesn't love a trip to Costco? Especially one that involves bringing along someone to help schlep all the goodies home!  Well, on this particular day, Costco was filled to the brim with furniture.  And this furniture obsessed momma went on a spree.

Three flatbed carts later, Eldest son and I were wheeling out our treasures and flagging down assistants in the parking lot for help. The lovely gentleman who starting assisting us took one look at my car and sadly shook his head. He suggested a flat bed truck rental from Home Depot.  So, we left for Home Depot, rented the truck, headed back to Costco, loaded up and back home we went.

 Around the corner from our house I called and asked Nephew to open the garage. Asking no questions, (like "where is your garage clicker?") he complied.  Later, he describes sitting in the kitchen and hearing the beeping of a truck backing up.  He could not believe it when he saw us pulling in with the loaded up flatbed.  Somehow my boys are still surprised by my antics!

I can now say that Eldest son's baby furniture is finally retired, and no longer being used by the "baby," who is entering high school in the fall! It is being replaced by the gorgeous dresser we found. But alas, the awesome high top table that looked like the perfect size for our den while in the Costco warehouse, completely overpowered the much smaller room in our home.  So, it has been repackaged and tucked into my trunk for returning to Costco.  Another day in the life....

Around the Kitchen Table

There's even a seat for my co-worker!

We bought our kitchen table at a furniture sale in an armory.  I felt like this lovely tiled table was waiting for me.  I saw it and HAD to have it.  It was large for a family of four, but in my heart I wanted to expand my family and "if you build it they will come"  ran through my head.  My sweet husband knows if I have to ask him about a piece of furniture then it's not for us.  When I HAVE to have it, he knows it will fit right in and is happy (mostly) to indulge me in my furniture obsession. Well...if that table could talk. We have had countless family dinners around it, game nights, birthday cakes, heart to hearts, afternoon homework sessions....I could go on and on.

And the best part--we filled that table up with a third baby boy and our beloved nephew! So the table fits our family of six perfectly.  When friends and family come, we pull out an extra chair or two...yes, the kitchen is the heart of the home.  How blessed I feel when it is full of family, friends and food!

Bonus Checks

Bonus check is the term I use to describe those moments that I see or hear that make me feel as if I have received a holiday bonus from my corporation.  For example, at high school conferences a teacher was looking forward to meeting us--he wanted to compliment us on how we raised our boys.  Bonus check!!  The Guidance Counselor at the same school said he would love to sit around the dinner table at our house and listen in on the conversation.  He was fascinated with how the close family dynamic developed.  Bonus check!!  The other night, on my way to bed, I peeked in on "the baby" and came across this heartwarming scene.  Youngest son could not sleep so big cousin came and hung out and did some light reading about business and finance.  Bonus check!

The Golden Globes--Really?

So, I promised no rants, but honestly, I am annoyed with award shows.  I am watching a group of egotistical actors patting each other on the back…for what?  Yes, the arts are important--crucial to humanity.   Stories must be told, songs sung, canvases painted.  However, have these people been in the trenches and protected our citizens?  Taught our children in unairconditioned classrooms?  Worked in clinics treating uninsured patients?  Where are the award shows for these peeps?

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing the "stars" with their gowns and jewels and shoes and hairdos and all of the bling and glamour that accompany these shows.  I just can't help feeling sad about the values these shows reflect on our society.

Sheet and Towel Day

So once a week--Wednesday or Thursday--it's Sheet and Towel Day around here.  That means the cleaning peeps are coming, and, apparently I terrorize the troops while preparing for this occasion.  

My motto is "The ladies are here for me--not to straighten up your mess."  That means EVERTHING gets put away so the ladies can do the "deep clean" as my  BFF Sue calls it.  Yes, 50 somethings can have BFFs.  I am proud to say we have been BFFs for five decades!  I digress...

On this particular Sheet and Towel Day, I decided to do some messy cooking before the girls arrived to clean.  Now, I never know when they are arriving until about ten minutes before they show up.  This irks Middle Son who doesn't understand why I don't insist on a specific time--that however, is between me and my ladies!

Let the food prep begin!  On the menu:  Claremont Health Salad and Grandma's Squash. These side dishes are healthy, delicious, easy to make and as an added bonus, they last for days.  Quick tip:  wash and prep all the veggies at once!  

So, this

Becomes this                       Grandma's Squash

And this                        Claremont Health Salad

Find the "how to" on my recipe tab and enjoy!

Book Club Night!

I truly enjoy my book club! All of the ladies have high powered careers with me being the exception. I am a stay at home mom. We meet every six weeks or so and the host selects the book. Most hosts usually opt for a vote and we send several choices out to the group. When it was my turn to host, Julia's Chocolates won the vote. As a Martha Stewart wannabe I spent the day (my son was home sick) creating a chocolate feast. I even baked a batch one of the character's "special" brownies--oregano was substituted, (we are not in Colorado)! Sadly, only two people made it that night. We had a crazy freak Spring snowstorm! Leftovers were wrapped up and sent home with the guests!

M&Ms are Inanimate Objects

My favorite colorful dessert table decoration also happens to be one of my favorite edible guilty pleasures.  Yes, those sinfully delish little mouthfuls of yum happen to be deceitful creatures filled with calories that I cannot afford!

I have had to convince myself many times that they do not speak to me from the pantry to remind me of their presence.  They are quiet when sealed, or when they're adding color and fun to my dessert table.  However, once the party is over and the guests have left, they get wrapped in a baggy and plopped into the abyss of the pantry closet.  It is then that they become imps and make their presence known to me.  I must confess--the ONLY solution my friends--is to toss them before a meltdown occurs and then the only choice would be to consume them!  Trust me…toss those buggers or you will suffer the carb hangover consequences.

Our Children Are Not Our Bosses

My pet peeve topic so I will try not to rant…

Toddlers are tough.  We parents must be tougher!  They do not get to boss us around just because it's easier to give in to them.  They can have their tantrums and their hissy fits--we cannot.  When they are big grown ups we cannot simply pick them up and bring them to their senses, or to safety.  Lessons are best taught when they are young, before they get bigger than us.  While physically exhausting,  put the work in now and you will have a much better time when you are dealing with those teenage hormones.
Now I promised not to be preachy so I will end my sermon.

One more rant….

Other parents will not have your values.  It is difficult when your child looks at you and says why do I always have to let someone else go first when we play at our house?  I don't get to go first at their house.  Children must  learn to stand up for themselves but they also must learn the right thing to do no matter what everyone else does.  This lesson is invaluable.

Lastly,  when you tell your precious little one to do something, please don't end the sentence with "Okay?"  For example, "We have to go now so please put your coat on, okay?"  If you feel the need to empower them at that moment it's more appropriate to say "We have to go now so do you want to put your hat on first or your coat?"

Okay that's it for today.  No more blog rants.  I have no degree in psychology or professional credentials.  Just have spent many years observing and seeing the outcome of different types of parenting.  The good news is that children manage to grow and thrive despite our learning how to parent while on the job.  They truly grow up faster than we can acquire the skills it takes to keep up with them!